After the 200mm of rain a couple of weeks ago, I figured it was time to look into fixing the roads and some of the overgrowth that has taken off. My chicken coop has turned into a pumpkin patch, my driveway a washed out 4wd track and the grass and regrowth have gone berserk. Some of my vegetables like chillies and capsicum have burnt leaves with the inconsistent weather. One day it floods, the next it’s scorching and then it rains again. Consistency is key, and there is none of that at the moment. The moringa plants are struggling. They don't like wet feet much and of course I dug them into a hole instead of mounting them. I have lost a few, but most seem to be pulling through ok at the moment.
But on the bright side, I don’t need rain anymore. My dams are full, my water tanks are full and there is plenty of life growing through the farm.
The Little Engine That Should
Back from more repairs, my lawn mower looked good to go. New blades, filters, parts replaced, new welds on broken joints, a new battery and more. I was finally ready for a couple of hours of work on it.
But how naive of me to think it would want to work. This machine would be a fantastic dole bludger, pouring money into it and never working. I got about a lap and a half of my small backyard before it started smoking and stopped dead in its tracks.
Of course this would happen, this terrible mower has no ambition to do its one job. As I pushed it back up the hill to the workshop, I seriously considered walking it into the dam and being rid of this thing forever. I think it’s time to let sleeping dogs lie, or in this case, shop around for anything that’s not a Husqvarna.
It’s Slashing Time
Lucky for me, I have a second option. My slasher on the tractor. First I set it a bit low. My wife yells at me as a piece of debris smashes some glass near the house. This slasher really is ruthless, and I drive it with the confidence of a professional who has watched one YouTube video on the subject.
Well, it turns out it doesn’t slash everything….
Overconfident, full of six weeks of tractor experience (probably two weeks if you count the downtime and maintenance) I ran straight over a group of cinder blocks. With the sound of an active warzone going on below as the blade jumps, smashes and grinds the blocks into small pieces I’ll no doubt run over again later. I am getting thrown around in the seat like I’m on a bumper car ride.
I manage to turn off the slasher and try to lift it so I can move it out of the warzone it just created. But it lifts with only two of the three connections left and is now at a terrible angle.
That’s it for the slashing, so the tractor awkwardly drives back to the workshop. I park it up next to the little engine that should and I question how I f***ked two pieces of machinery in the space of an hour.
My wife ended up finishing the lawn off with the push mower and a whipper snipper before helping me move all the blocks away from the slash zone. What a mess and what a way to lose “man points” to the wife…
Quick Repair, Back On The Road, and Another Repair
Luckily the slasher was not a hard fix. A simple replacement bolt and it was back to operating like usual. A quick inspection of the blades showed me the minimal damage that was done. I decided to try out the slasher again, on a new field that was overgrown. This one is just off the road and needs some work.
Flattening the regrowth with the bucket and slashing everything in my path, I felt renewed. Nothing can get in the way here. Until I got to the end of my first cutting path, I tried to turn around and the tyres just sank into the ground. I found the boggy part, it turns out that 200mm of rain that landed the weekend before decided to live here on a permanent basis.
Using the limited skill I had, I pushed down with the bucket to lift the tractor a bit and I managed to get out of the bogged area. I felt proud of this little achievement but decided it was too wet to continue so off the tractor went back to the workshop.
Once the engine was turned off, I could hear it straight away. The hissing of a tyre emptying. Since these tyres were full of water, it was rushing out all through the workshop. Stepping down into the now flooded workshop, I could see yet another metal clip/rod sticking out of my tyre. I did it again, found another metal landmine and it was time to go back to the tyre shop once again.
At least I am getting on a first name basis with the tyre repair man the next town over.
The Unforgiving Driveway
The driveway was bad when we moved in. It almost required a 4wd to traverse it. The steep slope leading down and into the housing area was cracked badly and if you hit it fast or hard, you could say goodbye to your tyre.
Once the rains came, these cracks opened up like a fault line with deeper holes than the Grand Canyon. Something needed to be done.
I tried to put the tyre back on the tractor myself. It was a good start. I put it on backwards first and then got lost with the million bolts and nuts needed to put a tractor tyre back on. I think an F1 team would struggle to put this back together in under 10 minutes.
As usual, it was a two-man job so I called the neighbour for help. Then I watched him put it back together himself while I just stood there like a spare part. Feeling accomplished with myself for supervising such a daunting task, I was ready to have a go at the driveway. Just one small problem on the way. I had to swap the slasher for the grader part of the tractor.
Using all my skill, knowledge and confidence, I rang my neighbour again to help me. Of course he was there in a flash and the grader blade was installed. After a quick lesson, and of course the neighbour supervising me, I was on the way. Cutting from the outside in, I was quickly making light work of this mess of a road.
The One That Got Away
One of our poor little cockatiels decided this was the time to fly away and leave the house. So the road was put on pause for the rest of the day while we searched the property for Micky. We did find him, but he couldn’t get down from the trees.
After a full afternoon of trying to coax him to come down from the top of some old gum trees, we had to wait out the night and hope for the best.
We never saw him again, though. It’s funny how attached you can get to such a little creature. Full of personality and annoyance, it’s depressing realising you tried everything you could to bring him back down. And nothing would work.
The Road Less Travelled
The following day I continued with the road cutting. It was easy enough once I understood it and the machine was all set up for me…
The cracks and holes were gone, the road went from a 4wd track to a somewhat drivable road. The issue now was all the rocks in it. I guess when you cut a foot down into the earth like this, it spits up some rocks.
I don’t have that attachment unfortunately, so I walked up and down kicking and throwing them to the side. Once that was done, I could roll over the road with the tractor. It’s not a professional bit of work, but it is one hundred times better than before and I am proud of it. Maybe I will make a little sign up and call it Micky’s Road.
The good news is no more risk of damage to my car, or anyone that visits. Provided they can navigate the few rocks left behind. Can’t make it too easy for people though, can I.
The Professional Road Fixer
Now I am a fully qualified and experienced road fixer. I doubt I will ever get a job in that industry. Maybe I can work for the council, they don’t seem to know how to fix roads either.
The lawn mower is dead to me. I don’t want to deal with it any further. The cursed machine should be pushed to the bottom of the dam, but I am scared it will somehow break that as well.
I think I will get some goats in the meantime. With a bit of luck I will be able to write about their success soon. After all, surely they can’t break down as much as that mongrel lawn mower has. I will be looking for a new ride-on mower, feel free to leave a comment below as to your recommendation. Just no Husqvarna, I need something that runs on fuel, not cash. Even though feeding a mower bills might be cheaper than fuel at the moment.
About the Author
Joel Molloy is the founder of Moringa Products Australia and the writer behind The Moringa Farm Chronicles, a first-hand account of learning farm life the hard way in rural Queensland.
From machinery mishaps and water woes to wildlife, renovations and growing Australian Moringa, Joel documents the wins, mistakes and chaos of building a farm from scratch.