Chapter 11 - Goats, Government and General Mayhem

With the new rules and legislation not allowing Moringa to be sold for human consumption anymore, I have to try to diversify into other areas of farming. On pen and paper this feels easy enough to do. Throw some new crops in, let it grow and make items from it. Easy profit.

Turns out farming anything at scale is bloody difficult.

Root Vegetables and Rooted Expectations

One of my bigger sellers outside Moringa is our Beetroot range. We sell a variety of it from our farms overseas and local growers as well. So naturally I thought this could be a decent area to pivot to and plant my own Beetroot on the no shortage of land I have. Beetroot is common, it’s everywhere. It can’t be hard to grow, right?

Well, the Beetroot might not be too hard to grow. But the soil is certainly too hard to plant anything in. We have only had significant rainfall once since we have been here and it flooded everything in the area. Other than that, it’s been so dry the cane toads are looking dehydrated.

So the first issue is to loosen the soil. Well, my tractor has 4 inflated tyres for once and I have a metal collecting rolling machine now. This machine rolls over the dirt as a big magnet and pulls all the metal and nasty things I can’t see (but my tractor always does) out of the ground. It’s a marvellous little machine that was gifted to me from my friends when they were up.

Once the metal was removed, and there was a scary amount it picked up. I felt confident to bring my tractor into the field with the grader blade on the back. I went back and forth loosening the dirt. Dust clouds are everywhere around me but I have loosened enough now to make mounted rows to plant the beetroot in.

Planting it was the easy part. Protecting it from the elements, insects and animals is the hard part.

I bought a net to stop the insects from getting in. I also had some wood spare from the tree I cut down the other week. So I decided to make a tent. The only issue is I could not get the wood down deep enough through the hard, cracked earth. So the structure is too high and I only have enough for three quarters of the area to be covered. Excellent work again, Joel. Now I have to get more netting when I am in town. I see why the professionals just use pipe and metal stakes. But why make a job easier when you can re-invent the wheel?

The beetroot work took my mind away from things, but the elephant in the room dominates a lot of my time and thoughts.

The Government’s Weak Legislation on Moringa

Without trying to get too political, an update on the situation is needed as it occupies a lot of my time at the farm these days. I have joined forces with some other growers, sellers and people in the industry. We are working behind the scenes to get this ludicrous FSANZ decision overturned.

A Moringa Growers Association seems to be underway and we have some great members on the team. One member, Gary, is quite experienced in fighting corruption and government wrongdoings. As a matter of fact, his work helped shine a light on council corruption in Ipswich and put people behind bars. So there is a lot I can learn about the big fights that are to come.

Because there will be fights, no point in rolling over after investing nearly ten years into this industry. As a group of business owners and professionals, I believe we stand a chance. Adding experience to that does nothing but strengthen those chances.

In the past few weeks I have managed to make viral social media videos, something I never thought I would do. It’s an uncomfortable thing for me, I prefer to be behind the scenes making things work than be a front man. Other than that, I have managed to generate small amounts of media presence and I have been on a live country podcast/show. But my microphone would not work for half of that interview. Ah well, it seems Murphy and his law are still shadowing me.

We also have a petition that will go through QLD parliament. If you have managed to read this far down, thank you, and here is a link for the petition if you don’t mind helping. This one is for QLD residents only, we are working on a federal one but as with most things with the government, it takes time.

The more signatures we have on this petition, the stronger our application becomes and then we can get a foot in the door to reverse this uneducated decision that has thrown the Moringa industry into chaos.

QLD petition:
https://www.parliament.qld.gov.au/Work-of-the-Assembly/Petitions/petition-details/4523-26

Turns Out the Chainsaw Was Not the Problem

I have been super careful with my chainsaw and my new skill that I am nowhere near close to mastering. I spend more time repairing the chainsaw, though, than actually using it. This seems to be a theme on this farm with machinery and equipment come to think of it.

I have successfully jammed the chain in nearly every log I have cut as I can't stick to a straight line. I cut a line as straight as a Mardi Gras float, the wood pinches the chain, and out it pops from the bar. I am becoming pretty familiar with repairing it.

We chopped a large, dead tree down a few weeks back. This wood is only good for burning. It is termite-ridden and not useful for anything else at all. So I use my tractor and a sling to lift it up one side and chop my diagonal lines. This time, however, it might have been a bit heavy for the tractor. I lifted it up and I noticed when I got down from the tractor it wanted to roll back a bit. So I decided to drop the back grading blade down.

Standing next to the tractor, I lowered the blade. It takes the weight and the tractor lifts up on two wheels and starts to roll over straight where I am standing. Doing what my chickens can’t, I laid an egg in my pants as I saw this machine tilt towards me. I quickly lifted the blade back up and the tractor fell back down with a solid thump.

It’s a sharp reminder that it only takes a momentary lapse of judgement to make a near-fatal mistake. I was so focused on chainsaw safety, I did not even think about weight distribution on the tractor.

I think for the short term, I am going to continue using star pickets for my fence and not newly chopped wood.

Fence Modifications and the Escaping Dog

I extended the fence a little after Jack and I built it a few weeks back. This opened some new issues with one of our Bichons that can fit through the small gaps in the fence. And has been escaping through it terrorising the goats and chickens every chance he gets. He is tiny and if the goats were not such wusses, little Tobby would be in serious trouble. It unfortunately gives this little dog an overwhelming confidence that is going to cause him trouble when he comes up against a wild animal that is not scared of him.

The solution to this is chicken wire around the bottom of the fence. I had some spare from another fence area I pulled down to plant Moringa. So I cut it to size and attached it to the bottom of the fence. That will stop him. No more escaping.

Until it didn’t, and he’s away again. I am not sure yet where he is escaping from but I am going to have to reinforce the fence a bit more in the hopes I stop him. This little dog is as bad as the goats at escaping. Luckily my wife loves him. I have other thoughts. Two out of three good dogs is enough for me.

Fencing never seems to end on the farm, be it for crops, keeping animals in, keeping animals out or in my experience none of the above. But I love it, it is quite a rewarding experience seeing it all come together.

John & Deere, A Pallet for Pellets

There are forty acres of land here, most of it is free for them to roam and eat to their hearts’ content. But they have an annoying way of seeking out pellets. Which is not good. They were free roaming fine for weeks, but they soon worked out where I kept the pellets. Their food is currently in my under-construction office on a bench that is a metre and a half high. They can’t possibly get to it.

Well, I am wrong. Logical thinking doesn’t seem to register with goats. I went up to the shed towards the end of the day and there was goat shit all over the floor. The brand new floor I just laid a few days prior. Then I look up at where the pellets are, and again it’s full of shit. How did they get up there, why did they decide to defecate all over the freshly painted bench?

I moved the feed inside the fence near the house. Now that the goat food is out of reach, they worked out the chickens get fed each day as well. I caught them red handed with their big goofy heads inside the chicken tractor. They had knocked over the food and water. They left none for the chickens.

So now I have to remove the chicken food from the tractor each morning. I place it in my workshop up high on a work bench I built. This one is exceptionally high as I built it for my working height. I can’t even jump on it. They can though. Again there is shit all in my workshop and on top of the work bench. The chicken food is also all gone of course.

I’m yelling obscenities at them while they just look at me saying MEEEEEHHHH. I am sure they just want more food. Forty acres, forty acres of land, weeds, trees and everything else to eat. But like my actual lawn mower, they just won’t work.

Plan C is to let the goats out in the morning, and the chickens out in the afternoon. That way they can’t get into the chicken tractor and chickens are forced to stay put and lay some eggs for a change. I have four chickens and get one egg every second day. Freeloading parasites. On pen and paper this plan works but the goats don’t seem to understand plans.

The very first day I set my plan in motion, the goats went straight to my office to check. Nothing there, then to the workshop. Nothing there. This is a common daily pattern at this point. Now they go to the chicken tractor to check for food. They know the food is there, but the door is locked shut. The chickens are angry and making noise with the new intruders.

I notice they start working their horns into the wire and I quickly go up and shoo them off. Hoping that was the end of it but five minutes later I am working outside and turn around to see the chicken tractor has been flipped over, the chickens are walking on the wall screaming and the goats are successfully eating the chicken food again.

Diversification to a Funny Farm

Well that’s what it feels like. Farming Moringa is clearly becoming harder and I am spending more time chasing the animals around the funny farm now. Why grow Moringa when I am successfully growing a constant pain in the ass?

I have to lift the chicken tractor up, the cage is broken now and needs fixing. I presume this is where they used the horns to lift it over. One of the chickens is out and running around screeching for her companions. I open the door to let the other three out and they just run. Unbeknown to me, in my angry rush up to the mayhem that was unfolding, I forgot to shut the gate. So now I have Bobby the dog running after the chickens on top of everything else.

The chickens are screaming and running behind the sheds, Bobby is slowly and chunkily chasing them down. He has no hope in catching them, we feed him far too much for speed to be his thing. My wife is yelling out to him to get back. I am screaming every obscenity that I can at this absolute circus unfolding before my very eyes.

Once the dust settled, the goats were back home and the chickens were nowhere to be found. Sound travels uphill out here, and I have neighbours on hills on both sides of me. I have not met them yet, and I think I know why. With all my screeching of colourful language at the animals, the noise travels up the hill and they probably think I am a lunatic. And to be fair, I would too.

Time to Rehome John & Deere

Not to a new property, or a stew. But to a new area of the farm. They are only in a temporary enclosure at the moment anyway. I wanted them there to clean out the area so I could get more chickens. Ones that actually lay eggs. They did a decent job of clearing the area. But I can’t home them with chickens, or the chickens are going to starve to death.

So to get my new chickens, I need a new home for the goats. Luckily the prior owners never pulled down a few shelters and this area is overgrown with grass, weeds, trees and everything else they won’t eat.

But it needs a fence first. So I am now currently building a fence around a large area. I have no doubt this is going to backfire somehow. They are escape artists and will put my fencing skill to the test. That is for sure.

But this is part of the fun of farming and looking after animals. It’s chaotic as hell, but they will push me to be better and upskill. Otherwise the place is just mayhem at all times. I don’t know how people look after large amounts of goats. I know one lady who has heaps, but she keeps them in great condition and they are always happy. They don’t seem to escape either. I have my hands full with two.

I am quickly learning that animals don’t fix problems. They just add to them. But I love them anyway and I know I won’t learn my lesson. I will just get better at housing them and looking after them. Even after all the mayhem they seem to cause, I have a soft spot for them. I enjoy writing about them and would not change it for the world. In fact, I am thinking of getting a donkey to join the ranks.